My first encounter with Shadow Work was over ten years ago during a ManKind Project weekend. Initially, I was skeptical as I watched other men engage in short pieces of work on the carpet. But when it was my turn, something shifted. Despite resisting at first, I soon cracked open, overwhelmed by an immense sadness and feelings of isolation, which brought me back to difficult memories from my early childhood.
A year later, I found myself in a workshop in Devon, doing carpet work with a group of men facilitated by Rod Boothroyd. This time, I was focused on working through the grief of losing my first wife to cancer and the pain of my second marriage ending in divorce. I had already undergone several sessions of counselling to address a sudden onset of social anxiety, and I realised that unresolved grief was at the root of my anxiety.
The Shadow Work I did on the carpet with Rod was transformational. Speaking the words of grief to my wife and shedding tears in a beautifully held space had a profound impact on me. It allowed me to process my grief in an embodied way that traditional counselling hadn’t been able to achieve. This was the moment when I truly understood the power of Shadow Work.
When the opportunity arose to train as a Shadow Work practitioner with Rod and Marianne through the Healing the Shadow organisation I was excited to take it. The two-year training program was a deeply enriching experience. My lifelong career in engineering was coming to an end, and this training offered me a new path—one where I could bring the healing power of this work to others and continue my personal growth.
Throughout my life I have faced significant challenges, including grief and loss, compulsive behaviours and addiction (I was part of a 12-step group for many years). I also struggled with a pervasive feeling of not being good enough. My journey with Shadow Work has helped me address these issues and more, allowing me to embrace and enjoy life fully. Today, I am more present for my family and friends , and I am grateful for the path that has led me here.
As I continue to travel through my 60’s I am committed to helping others navigate their own shadows. I understand the pain of unresolved emotions and the power of healing, and I am here to support you on your journey.
FAQ’s
When we talk about the Shadow, we refer to the hidden part of our mind—the unconscious. Here, we store emotions, memories, beliefs about ourselves and others, and behaviors. Although we aren’t aware of what’s in our Shadow, these hidden elements can significantly influence how we act in our conscious lives, often in ways that feel beyond our control. We all have one.
The Shadow forms throughout our development, from birth to adulthood, in response to our familial, societal, and cultural environments. For instance, a boy might learn from his father that showing emotions is a sign of weakness. He may unconsciously suppress his ability to cry and be emotional, storing these behaviours in his Shadow. While this might earn his father’s approval as a child, it can lead to challenges in expressing emotions and forming deep connections later in life. This is just one example, but in reality, our Shadow can contain a limitless range of suppressed traits and behaviours.
Although we are unaware of our Shadow’s contents, they shape how we present ourselves to the world and interact with it. If there are emotional or behavioural aspects of ourselves that we would like to change, they might be rooted in our shadow. These hidden influences can affect every area of our lives, from our relationships to our careers.
Working with the Shadow involves bringing these unconscious elements to light. By becoming aware of our shadow beliefs and behaviours, we can start to change them, and this in turn helps us to change how we show up in the world. This process can lead to quick and meaningful improvements in various aspects of our lives, fostering personal growth and better emotional well-being.
Marianne Hill and Rod Boothroyd started the Healing The Shadow organisation in 2019. Drawing on Marianne’s experience practicing couples counselling, shiatsu and shadow work and Rods experience of archetypal theory and transactional analysis they developed the Healing the Shadow modality which draws on all these elements. It is relational, embodied and transformational work, we refer to it as deep process psychotherapy.
A Healing the Shadow session typically lasts between 2 to 5 hours, allowing for a deep and thorough exploration of your issues. Each session begins with an in-depth discussion about the problem you’re facing and what you hope to achieve. Once we’ve established your goals, we’ll explore different parts of yourself using colored cloths or props on a carpet, creating a visual representation of your inner psychological world.
This approach helps us understand the dynamics at play and offers a chance to work directly with these parts to bring about healing and change. All the work is client-focused and client-led, as we believe every individual has the capacity, intelligence, and resources to solve their issues. My role as a facilitator is to guide you through this exploration and help you uncover the insights and strengths that lead to personal growth.